So I think I owe a little apology to all my faithful blog followers out there. Apparently I was being slightly dramatical with my last blog post and worried all my loving family and friends into a frenzy. Adam kindly pointed out that maybe my journal would be the best place to write those crazy thoughts down. And I think I have to agree with him. We had a really great weekend in Cleveland with some of the Juniors/Seniors from church and on Saturday we went up to the Ocoee River for some much needed quiet time. It was absolutely beautiful sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs watching the rain fall into the river. While I didn't get a clear direct answer about the things I was/am struggling with, it felt wonderful getting away from everything for a little while. So I'm really sorry for being so distraught with the last post but I'm so thankful for great friends and family who love me no matter what:-)
This has been one of those weeks. One where your mind constantly thinks, envisions, plans, and analyzes everything to the point of exhaustion. It's the kind of week where your husband walks in the house to find you sobbing on the couch. It's the week where you want to have everyone else's life except your own. It's one of those weeks where strangers ask you how you are and you just want to go into detail. It's one of those weeks. I wish I could be open and transparent to everyone. I wish I could walk around with my heart on my sleeve. I wish I could scream. And frankly, I wish I could talk in a non-raspy voice and quit coughing up my lungs. And sometimes I wish we could live our lives according to our own will and desires (even though I KNOW that would not be the best plan).
Unfortunately, God isn't quite having that right now.
But I trust Him.
I trust God so much with my life. With Adam's life. Even with Denali's life:-)
I know that things aren't ideal right now. And I know that God works in seasons. So seasons change, right? They HAVE to change. I'm waiting for that change. So if you read this and feel like having some compassion on a friend, say a little prayer that God will speak to me clearly through this oh-so-frustrating time. Thanks.
Usually when springtime comes along, so does my longing to be in the south again. And please don't argue with me- Virginia is NOT the south:-) We always tend to visit Adam's parents in Charlotte, NC during the most absolutely gorgeous weekends possible. The weather is always perfect and we always leave feeling refreshed, relaxed......and not wanting to come back to Virginia. So was the case this past weekend. We started off our journey Thursday night with a refreshing trip to Bojangles. We decided that for best results, Bojangles should only be consumed in North Carolina or Tennessee. Now, please don't judge me on this one- I haven't had friend chicken and french fries in over a month due to my new cholesterol regimen. This was just my little reward for absolutely nothing:-) On Friday, we were able to share lunch with a few of Adam's friends and then spent Friday night hanging out with LeeAnna and Justin, who have now lived in Charlotte about 6 months. Most of our time Saturday was spent either eating or shopping, where I was constantly reminded of the south with the southern blondes trying to sell me things I couldn't afford in the boutiques or being overwhelmed with NC State paraphernalia at Dicks Sporting Goods. I got the "official" Charlotte city-tour by Brent and Teri and saw little glimpses of where Adam grew up. I also saw some of the largest/most massive homes in the downtown "old money" section. It is there that I decided that there is absolutely no way these people need this much of a house. (Well, unless they have 15 kids.. and then I will give them a large house). While driving, I saw one of these aforementioned large homes with a "Moving Sale" sign inside. I really HATE yard sales and all things antique-y but I persuaded everyone to stop. We enter into a grimy old house that has been divided into apartments and this "Moving Sale" is really just a scary old lady trying to sell crap (there is no better word to describe it) out of her home. She told us to just look around and anything was up for grabs. We survived... but barely. We had dinner with Adam's parents Saturday night and then headed home sadly. Abby and I used to call this type of experience "Post Party Depression". It happens when you are either traveling and you have to head home or are hosting guests and everyone leaves. Either way, it's not a fun time. I'm looking forward to summer trips that can't come soon enough!
.....tick tick tickin away. Who can name remember that wonderful DC Talk song?
Unfortunately, DC talk flashbacks are not the highlight of my blog post tonight. TIME is (or the lack thereof). The cover of Real Simple this month has in big bold letters, "More Time For You'. How glorious and appealing that sounds! Too bad I don't actually have time to sit down and read about how to give me more time. And I know I'm totally not alone. Our church did a big series of Sabbatizing (aka: taking a Sabbath) and it totally hit on the fact that society makes us feel as if we are not worthy human beings if we are not constantly doing something. Heaven forbid that you just come home from work one night and sit, watch TV, and go to bed by 9pm. We did well for a little while; making sure that we took a couple of nights out of the week to relax and have "family time", but we've slowly gone back into our old habits. My main question for you is
"Is it always going to be like this????"
Is there ever going to be a morning when you wake up and don't immediately want to go back to sleep because you are so exhausted? Is there ever going to be a morning (or evening) when you feel like you got a quality quiet time with God? Will my dog ever got a decent walk that lasts more than a mile? Will I ever be on time or even EARLY for an event?
I mean, I'm going crazy here and I only have Adam and I to take care of:-) I can't imagine throwing an entire family into this chaos.
I realize that I can fix this however with a few simple steps. 1. My hairdresser is going to come over every morning and help me get ready for work. Megan does fabulous hair:-) 2. My breakfast, lunch, and dinner are going to be cooked by my own celebrity chef who has a specialty for low-cholesterol dishes. 3. For job transportation, I will either take a commuter van or hire a personal driver. This will give me an extra 2 1/2 hours/day to catch up on emails, read a book, or catch up on sleep. That might be the most glorious life ever. 4. At night, since I won't be exhausted from my drive and I won't have to cook, I'll be free to actually hang out (not just on the weekend), exercise, or walk the dog (if the dog sitter hasn't already done it for the day).
And while I'm at it, I'm going to extend my 2 weeks/year vacation plan to at least 2 months/year. Who's brilliant idea was it anyways to only give someone 2 weeks off out of a total of 52?
So anyways, that's my perfect life:-) Right now I actually do have time to blog since Adam is studying for his credentialing license for the Assemblies of God church. He takes a nice big test tomorrow morning and if he passes, his new name will be Reverend Adam Michael Reuss. haha. hilarious.
I'm a Cleveland, TN girl at heart finding myself living in another small town-- Chester, VA. I'm married to Adam, one of the best husbands in the world (no exaggeration!). I'm a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner while Adam is the high school youth pastor at Cornerstone Church. We love to travel, eat creative food, and hang out with anyone and everyone. I'm an incessant planner, but slowly finding out that God's way is bigger and better than anything I can plan on my own. Hopefully I will be sharing about all this on here!